Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Monday, November 1, 2010

Three Cups of Tea - an inspiring true story of Greg Mortenson and his selfless efforts

I have to admit that I bought Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert more than a month ago but have never read beyond page 14 as I find that Gilbert sounds too much like a whiney brat and seriously, I personally felt like smacking her hard on the head when she kept saying she wanted a divorce because she doesn’t like being married anymore and doesn’t want to have kids. I hate judging people but I can’t be proud of a woman who isn’t in an abusive relationship but doesn’t want to stay married after such a successful life together. Ok, I shouldn't make any conclusions as I only reached page 14 but I am sorry that I couldn't help feeling uninterested to read further.

Ok, ok… enough of that. I’m not here to write about Gilbert at all… in fact, I would like to share with you on this beautiful book my best friend, Nicole, lent me, and I must say that this must be the most amazing thing any best friends could have presented for their treasured friend :)


Three Cups of Tea is a true story of Greg Mortensen on his mission to promote peace by building one school at a time. But, the book doesn't gloat anything extraordinary about his efforts. It was written so humbly and unlike the overly dramatic whiney ways of EPL, this noble effort was written in a way for us to understand how remote and desolately poor of some of the regions in Pakistan and how difficult it was for those in Afghanistan.

I find that Greg, or fondly known as 'Dr Greg' among the locals, is such a true inspiration. He started his work back in 1994-95 way before the issue on terrorism was constantly highlighted and to think that it all started with his failure to reach the peak of K2, the second highest climb in the world.

Greg is not one who is privileged. As a climber, his passion has always been climbing and he worked as a nurse to finance his pastime. So, when he got lost while climbing K2 in 1993 and was ‘rescued’ to health by a very poor village in Korphe, he realised how little these people had yet made the most of what they have for him to get better. And with the knowledge of no opportunities for education among the children of Korphe, he made a promise to the village head, Haji Ali, that he will return to build a school for the village, especially for the benefit of young girls who are known to may never get any education prospect due to their ‘cultural’ imposition. And that promise, was something that he wasn't even sure he'd be able to fulfil.

He went back home to California and got started with his mission.

As I’ve said, Greg Mortenson is not one who is financially privileged. He didn't own a house and slept in his beat up Buick. He was fired from the hospital he worked as he was deemed ‘unreliable’ due to his delay in returning home but managed to secure a job elsewhere. He got started almost immediately by typing letters to wealthy people of the US like Oprah and Susan Sarandon to present his cause and share with them his story. He didn’t even ask for a big amount… he told them that after discussing with the locals, he figured that he could build a school with only US$12,000. Only. And he didn’t even ask for the full figure but any figure that would contribute to him fulfilling that figure. And that was only the amount for the school, nothing else for him. And I cried when I reached that part… around page 46-50.

I mean, here we are always complaining about what we do not have when we already have so much, yet this man, who practically had nothing much, but all he saw was the opportunity he could provide for the girls of Korphe for them to improve their lives.

I got mighty emotional with the way the story was written. You would be so immersed with the situation in Pakistan and how he was warmly welcomed because of the sincerity he exude. Most of all, the ‘American’ stigma in the Muslim communities was totally eroded because he was deemed their angel, a savior who provided them a priceless gift that even their countrymen and government didn’t provide at that time. I know their situation may be something hard for us to relate to, but you wouldn't help yourself from feeling something for them when you read this book.

This was an extraordinary man. From the 580 letters that he’d written to wealthy Americans and organisation, he received no support. But what I love (and have always believed in) is the fact that with every noble intention one have in helping others, He will show you the path… he got the US$12,000 from one donour, received a few hundred from a school programme called, ‘Pennies for Peace’ (where school kids donate their pennies) and sold his Buick for another few hundred bucks to help him with his personal expenditure flying from the US to Islamabad and that long journey to Korphe.

From then on, you will read about his adventures but especially his challenges, of being tricked/cheated by people who would want to take advantage of an American. I can so relate to this as it happened to a team I was working with when the company I worked with sponsored a school for Tsunami victims in Aceh… I mean, to think that a foreigner would want to help their children yet their own people would take advantage to make the most cash for their own pockets instead of thinking about the huge advantage 'their' children were getting, may sound pretty atrocious, but these things do happen. It is important to speak to the right people and be wary of one's surroundings at all times.

So, his journey, was something no less challenging. Of course, there were a few people he met along the way who could be trusted and it helped a lot that he could speak their language. And after all that, he finally reached Korphe, about a year after he last saw them. It was a beautiful surprise to the people and they kind of sensed that he would return to fulfil his promise.

Things didn’t go naturally well from there as they met with even more obstacles. And the next over 300 pages will let you in on all their obstacles, which include kidnapping, fatwa against him, heartaches yet love he found, the more calls for more schools in the nearby areas and the successes he achieved, all but very humbly, taking only a US$23,000 a year salary as Director of Cental Asia Institute (CAI) which was established after receiving a US$1 million investment by a wealthy supporter.

Greg went through rough times especially after September 11 from his fellow countrymen due to his work helping the Muslims and even received death threats. The only way for someone to be totally mesmerised by his cause was when they hear him talk and when he presents the pictures on slides for them to really know why he’s doing what he’s doing. This, I also could relate to when I was questioning why the company I was working with preferred to help the Tsunami victims when our own kids need help too. But when you see the devastation there, and their way of life – how much they don’t have and how much more privileged we are here, you can’t help but want to support this cause – a cause towards education.

I am filled with so much admiration for this man but admiration may be such a small word to describe the feeling. We are scarce of people we can look up to because most of the time, people preach their messages across but they don’t really walk their talk. I have worked with several so-called ‘philanthropist’ who are wealthy and give their money away easily but yet they expect so much in return and when they visit the critical areas, they expect to be treated like kings.

Greg Mortensen is nothing like that. In fact, when he hears the azan (the call for prayers), he would take the wudu’ like everyone else, cleans himself and pray along with the rest of the people. He respects their culture and never asked for anything more for himself. He’s so warm and soft hearted yet very firm in knowing what needs to be done, when to tolerate nonsense and when he should accept advise from these people who are considered ‘backwards’ in the eyes of modern society. He acknowledged that you would learn many valuable lessons from them even if they are illiterate with no modern resources. He’s just wonderful and I find my tears well up whenever I tell his stories to my husband. He makes me cry!

Okay. Let’s not get overly dramatic like Elizabeth Gilbert, ya. But I am telling you, I am filled with intense emotions when I read the book. I didn’t even want to put it down because I wanted to know what would happen next.

You won’t just find out about his challenges and successes but you will also learn about some history, political milestones and a lot of truth in what was happening during America’s fight on terrorism, especially during the war in Afghanistan against the Taliban, and the search for Osama. You would be surprised on many of the facts presented upon you and it would take a lot for one Muslim-hater to actually pick up the book with an open mind and read what this so called ‘infidel’, a non-Muslim’s recollection and view of things.

But this is not the sole reason why I would highly recommend this book for ALL to pick up… in fact, I find many lessons one can learn from it...
  1. I learnt that in order to make changes, you would need to start somewhere. Start small, even. A lot of people would just talk about wanting to do things and worry about everything else, while Greg Mortenson, one who has practically nothing just got up and go do what he set out to do. I agree that not all of us are built that way but it would be inspirational to read about someone who actually does and how he did it.
  2. The book reinforced my belief that when you want something done, especially when you want a change to happen, you need to start small, and start on your own. Be an example before others can follow-suit or support you. Yes, we would worry about the future but with good intentions, things will start to happen in your favour. Even if one step doesn’t work out the way you had hoped, it is crucial to get up again, learn where you went wrong, make it right and start taking small steps again without taking things for granted.
  3. I learnt that it is so easy to be misunderstood when you have the best intentions in mind. I experienced that myself earlier this year when I was made to believe I was ‘asked’ to adopt another person’s child. Yes, you have the best interest to help but in the end, what you do might go against you. Of course, I shouldn’t compare my minute effort compared to Greg's… But besides all that feeling of giving up on humankind, Greg taught me that when you have the best intentions, you shouldn’t feel bad or regret that decision you made because one day, people will realise what a difference you set out to make and as long as you’ve walked the talk rather than just talk crap, at least you know you have taken that step to improve yourself, no matter what people may think of you.
  4. I learnt that a lot of us (including moi) would [sometimes] complain and be unhappy about things around us when we already have a lot more that would already have made us happy. We fail to realise that there are other more important issues out there and people who are worst off than us. We forget to be grateful of what we already have and we take things for granted, especially on material stuff. We keep acquiring stuff to make us feel satisfied (or happy-ier) when in reality, we don’t quite need them. Here comes Greg who has very little, asks for nothing much yet give away so much to other parts of the world who are more needy. And he, himself, cuts his personal budget and be as prudent as possible so that those parts of the world are able to benefit from what he could give. That is food for the soul.
  5. This was something that ticked my brain… the part where the poorest most difficult people in Afghanistan, on their journey to perform the Haj, one of the religious requirement of every Muslim. I mean, I am made to understand that for many of us, it is not a must to perform the Haj if we are not financially sound. But this part made me question, how financially sound is financially sound… I mean, here they were, in a war, with lack of many resources, food, shelter and security, yet they were able to perform this duty as a Muslim. How much more privileged most of us are yet a lot of us are lost in our quest to keep acquiring wealth and materials. It left me with some relevant questions and how much this book has opened my eyes on this particular issue, even if that part is only a minute part in the book, where Greg was only including it for us to understand the situation he was in at that time, at that particular area.
  6. As I mentioned earlier, I love this book because Greg showed me that he does all this without asking for anything in return from those people he helped. In fact, he highly believed that terrorism can be nipped in the bud through non-extremist education and proper guidance. After all, those people he helped totally doesn’t believe in the hate-American propaganda by the Talibans and those uneducated few because the fact of the matter was, that Greg was the only person who helped them achieve a better life with the opportunity of education rather than how they were left without any guidance from their own government. Greg is truly loved by the small villagers who’ve heard so much about him and approached him, and I myself felt so proud of his cause… something, I have never heard about til I read this book.

Yes, I am a sucker for stories with moral values. I don’t take a tale as is… I would like to know that I could learn from it and what I read will help me further improve myself. Some would blindly criticise that I think a lot but if thinking shapes me into a better person, so be it. After all, we have brains to think... what's the use of it if we don't use it effectively.

Of course, I never said I could be like Greg Mortenson. I am, embarrassed to admit that my length of admiration could go as far as just that… admiration. And with this admiration, I could see myself advocating this cause as much as telling the general public of his unselfish efforts that doesn’t include any personal agenda… that it is such a noble cause and I would like to share with you this depth of information just like I did many many years ago when I had the chance to work with MERCY Malaysia and was truly inspired by its then-President, Dr Jemilah Mahmood on her untiring efforts to help those unfortunate (which was posted in my old blog that got hijacked). I became sentimental to her work and was happy that I was able to contribute what little I could help then. Hence, now, I am doing the same thing and what I can do best now – to write about Greg Mortenson and his work, though I can’t possibly tell you everything or you wouldn’t pick up his book.

After I finished reading this book, I learnt that the proceeds from his books would contribute to his cause and I felt embarrassed that I didn’t even buy this book to begin with. Hence, I pledge to let people know of his work so that more and more people would get it from their nearest bookstores… it will not only help this cause but will probably also change your perspective on life, somewhat. I have even made Mr Husband promise to me that he would read this book on his way to work on the LRT instead of his usual habit of playing games on his phone/iPad/whatever gadgets. I hope to also get this book as gifts for my good friends, if they have not read it yet and for myself, I had just gotten his other book, Stones Into Schools, which is a continuation to Three Cups of Tea. Aside from that, I do not want to make any empty promises but I shall be following his stories through whatever means I can get.

i was again filled with intense emotions the moment i saw this book on the shelves at MPH...

Through its website, it says of the books that changed the way people think about changing the world: Peace Through Education. But I think his books don’t just change you on your perspective on peace around the world… it would first make you look at yourself and question what have you done to things you are unhappy about.

For your information, as quoted from the Afterword page of Three Cups of Tea:
Three Cups of Tea has been a freshman, honours or campus-wide required reading selection in over eighty universities and hundreds of schools. It is also a required reading for senior US military commanders, Pentagon officers in counter-insurgency training, and Special Forces deploying to Afghanistan. More than 200 communities have used Three Cups of Tea as a “One Book” common read, and it is being published in over 31 countries.

Seriously, pick up his book without any expectations and promise to read it word for word.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Seeing the better side of things.

Today has been a little frustrating... first of all, the internet connection sucked since morning.

We have been using Izzi broadband for more than 2 years totally hassle-free. Now, once we have renewed our 3rd year with them, the internet service seems to have dwindled away... we never got disconnected, ever, but recently it has been downright frustrating with its intermittent connection and worse still, we would always experience a no connection every time it rains. Like wth?

Then, there has been some lagging with my microsoft word application. It is original, mind you, and it happened once before... every time I make any amendments to a file I am working on, it immediately hangs and I am forced to quit the application. Today itself, I had to type one word and made sure I saved the file... saved the file every single time one word was typed so that when I force quit the application, the changes remain. Damn it!

Then, there was a power outage around 3.30pm just now due to heavy rain and I cringed at the thought of my computer not shutting down properly *urgghh*

After all these, and feeling so blardy irritated about the whole thing, I took a second look at myself and let out a deep breath, knowing very well that what I am facing is nothing compared to an ex-colleague who just lost his beloved wife early this morning. Though I hardly knew his wife, I felt a little disturbed by that piece of news because I can't help feeling very sad for their 2-year old daughter, who probably needs her more than ever at this very tender age.

Sometimes we all get so consumed by all these minute things happening in our lives that we forgot to say thanks to Him for this opportunity to live another day, to breathe in the beauty of life and share our happiness with those closest to us.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

It's tough being a mom, yet tougher as a good mom.

It has been a very tiring day today (Saturday)... all of us in the family had quite a full day, starting as early as 7.45am til almost 10pm just now and this toughcookie fell asleep unintentionally only to be sharply awaken by little jj who badly needed the attention from someone. Well, my 13-year old was busy on the net while daddy was engrossed with his PS3 and I guess the only fair thing to do was to wake mommy up as mommy will do anything to keep her happy.

I woke up, gave her the much deserved attention and passed her back to daddy while I finally get to do laundry at such a late hour. In a situation like this, we all do what we have to do, don't we?

Anyways, this got me to thinking about Mothers' Day tomorrow (or today, rather, as this post was drafted just before midnight prior to Mothers' Day). Now, whomever says that mommies are allowed the same benefit as those in employment during Labour Day? Which mommy can tell me if they really are granted an off day, like totally, 100% - no cleaning, no cooking, no tending to any members of the family, nothing... anyone?

It's never easy being a mom, and it is even more difficult to be a good mom....

A good mom doesn't just deliver a baby into the world and raise the baby up hoping that they'd be a successful person automatically... a good mom does much more beyond taking care of their kids. A good mom tends to the family, put everyone else's needs before hers, raise her children up well to be a human of strong character, tell them frankly if they have made a mistake so that they would be a better person and be sure to support them in times of need. A good mom would not be afraid to let her kids know who's boss yet allow her kids to develop into who they want to be even with some pressure put on them because she has experienced it all before and does not wish to have her kids go through life's tough lesson the hard way.

I am not sure how good of a mom I've been so far... but I do know that I've worked very hard to support my family even during those 7 years of life as a single mom, raising a child with ADHD and Dyslexia, so that I could afford the therapy bills and additional classes for my growing child's needs. I would so want to be a good mom but seeing how different my 13-year old is now that he's in a stage where his friends seem to be more important than family, I would want to learn how other moms with grown up sons handle their teenage needs and how tough it is to want to be firm and tough without putting too much pressure on them.

It's never an easy task being a parent, not just for a mom. But since I am on the topic of Mothers' Day, allow me to just indulge in my emotional rush via this form of expression that I know best - writing.

I think I started to fully appreciate my mom as my mom when I got my first child. I suddenly realised the sacrifices that she had to go through, especially having us kids who didn't necessarily made her entirely happy. Yes, she has her weaknesses where our personality clashes like nobody's business and yes, we had our heated moments back then. Heck, there were too many disagreements especially on my way of life, the decisions that I made and so forth that made our relationship a little tense at one point in time, but I've realised that she has not been a mother who's not good.

Having a teenage child and one baby who clings on me constantly, I realised that my mom, despite whatever situation we're in, would always not fail to remind me that she's my mother, so that I will never lose ground.

I realised that despite whatever challenges that went her way, she would never lose sight of her children, bring us all back into what's real, nags all she wants if she feels she needs to, make us hate being in that situation if the situation calls for it yet at the end of the day, we all know that all was done because of her love for her children and her children are hers for an entire lifetime. No mother would want their kids to suffer through life yet no good mothers would want their kids to not learn their lessons after a bad fall, either.

It's never easy being a mother, as I have recently realised after some bouts of crisis, and even harder being a good mother.

A good mother does not need to be afraid to correct the wrong yet admit that she has made a mistake, and lower her ego all in the name of love. A good mother doesn't protect her kids who have done grave mistakes while she reprimands those who truly love her, who does whatever it takes for her and constantly thinks only of her feelings. I mean, what good does it do to mistreat the better children only to protect those bad apples because a good mom would know that that will never solve the problem, and the individual will never learn her lesson.

A good mother doesn't go against her word just for her convenience but demonstrate equal respect to all her kids because she knows that respect is earned and that she would want her kids to respect and love her, not only because it's her rights as a mom.

A good mother is able to tolerate life's challenges because she, of all people, would understand more about life while her kids are still only less than half of her age, who still needs time to learn while they tread the rough pathways of life and that they need all the guidance they can get unconditionally, not being treated second class just because they are willing to put up with everything in order to learn and be a better person.

Yes, it is hard being a mother, and more so, being a good mother.

I am still learning especially in this recent development dealing with a growing boy-turning-into-a- young man who sometimes rebel and unsure of what he needs to do or where he should step. A good mother will not let her child get lost and bring him back with proper guidance.

As much as I had so much resentments with how my mother handled me before - of how overly protective she was of me in my teenage years, so much so that I couldn't even go out with my friends until I've completed my SPM exams... I couldn't understand why I needed to be chauffeured driven everywhere I went and why I was constantly reminded to take good care of myself, as if I didn't already know of that particular fact.

The truth is, as much as it sounded really irritating - of her repeating to me constantly to take good care of myself, I guess I now am so thankful for that constant nagging as I now know that she loves me that much to be so worried of me and afraid that I'd lose myself in the beauty of life as a grown lady.

Mak, is a conservative woman who didn't bother much about being a friend to her daughter because she felt that discipline and doing everything proper, according to her style was the way to raise her children. It was a stressful life being a teenager under her roof and I never understood her style fully.

Now that I am a mother myself, I am exhumed with total relief that she raised me the way she did as all her qualities of a good mom suddenly became so clear to me...

Yes, being a good mom is not very easy but that her ways of raising her children made us who we are today, prevented us from making any irreversible life mistakes that could ruin our future but most of all, ensuring that her kids do not take her for granted. She's firm and she's an even tougher cookie compared to me but after 34 years of my life, I suddenly realised that she had at least tried to be a good mom. No matter how difficult her children once thought life was under her roof, we all could now safely testify that after having kids of our own, and going through life one day at a time, we are truly grateful to be born in that family and to have her as our mother.

She is a remarkable mother and I deem her, a good mother.

It ain't easy being a good mother, but she has been one damn good mother.

There is no need to pretend in our family and there isn't any need to be manipulative to get what we want. Everything is done in a straight-forward manner and honesty becomes a very important factor for the family to remain strong albeit with the many weaknesses.

Now that I have kids of my own, I would like to take all the positive things that she's taught us. I vow to never lose sight of what's important for my kids that whatever I do or the decisions that I make for them (while they are under this same roof or not), will be for their benefit in the long run. I know I would need to be strong to face resistance from my kids if they find it hard to understand why I do the things I do because I know, 10-20 years down the road, they will be in my shoes now, looking back and realising that yes... it is difficult being a mom, but mommy was definitely a good mom.

i love you, mak... and i'm glad i got the chance to tell you that.

Happy Mothers' Day.